Happily Ever After?

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On movies, in stories, at the end of just about every show on TV, we see couples driving off into the sunset to live happily ever after. It’s the inevitable ending for every fairy tale. The famous line, “And they lived happily ever after”, is so familiar to all of us. But can marriage really be happily ever after? Has it ever been?

To answer these questions it depends on how we look at it. If we look at happily ever after being living without flaws and everything being perfect and running smoothly, those thoughts are completely false. Marriage is no easy thing. There will be times when we fight, have arguments or blowups, suffer from lack of communication, and just don’t want to be around each other in general. Those young desperate feeling to be together all the time and daydreaming about each other will pass.

This all sounds horrible, I know. That’s what I thought anyway when I first read all this in my “Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts” book. I was very put off to be honest and I wondered, why get married if you when you are going to lose your passion and the spark? Why go into a lifelong commitment of getting into fights, having arguments (because they are bound to happen no matter what you do to avoid them) and no longer having that feeling of always wanting to be together.

I continued reading and found the answers to these questions. The digital entertainment that we have today displaying marriage and the “happily ever after” life style, is simply displaying to the audience what they know we want to see or hear in order to conclude a good movie or book. It’s what makes us happy. But it also makes us assume that’s how real life is supposed to be. Which is why we are so often disappointed when we come to find out that’s not how it is and marriage requires a lot of hard work and effort to make it last for a lifetime.

We are going to make mistakes and no one is perfect. What really matters is how fully we are committed to our partners and how bad we want our relationships to last. Some ways that we can help to keep strong steady relationships is to; keep open communications (the major key to a successful marriage), do not assign blame or create resentment, be honest, don’t expect your partner to make you happy (it’s a choice that we ourselves decide). These are just a few of the “tips” that I have learned from reading my book and going through the workbook.

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Photo By: timchallies (https://flic.kr/p/JGRepc)

My eyes have really been opened and I have a much different view on marriage now. It isn’t all sunshine and rainbows and it isn’t easy. But to me, it is totally worth it. In knowing that I have found the one who I want to be with and share the rest of my life with, I am more than willing to put forth the effort to make our relationship all the more durable no matter what life has to throw at us. I know it won’t be easy; there will be days and night when we are both mad or upset or hurt by each other. Apologies will have to be made, uncomfortable discussions will take place. But isn’t that what we state in our vows on the big day of saying “I do”? Also, with God’s help, and our love for each other, I firmly believe that we can do this.

Every day we learn new things, just like we have learned new content in this class every week since it started. The daily creates made you think about being creative every day and improvise in getting things figured out. And learning new terms and about different sources of technology; I was always learning something new. Just like this week I learned how to use, for the most part, Piktochart and what it has to offer in terms of making creative visuals.  For me, very few of these tools were easy for me to learn, but I gave it my best and stuck with it until I had a satisfactory item that I could submit for a grade.

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To me, marriage is a lot like this. Every day we learn something new about our significant other and how speak their language or what they like or don’t like. We also learn new things about ourselves, like what we are capable; such as finding a wise manner in which to avoid a fight or have a mature conversation when we are upset. Marriage isn’t easy. But we don’t easy, we just need possible (Soul Surfer Quote: Bethany Hamilton http://www.positivelypositive.com/quotes/i-dont-need-easy-i-just-need-possible/).

Word Count: 795

4 thoughts on “Happily Ever After?

  1. This is such a great post! When I was in high school, I thought marriage was going to be sunshine and rainbows and that it would be easy and fun. Although I am not married now, after being in a relationship with my boyfriend for nearly 3.5 years, I realize that things are not like that at all. Marriage will be different than simply being in a relationship, but like you, I am willing to put forth the effort to make things work. I would really love to share this blog with a couple of people I know. All of those movies with the happy endings, the pictures of couples, the videos of couples, they all show what people want to see, the things that make them happy; they do not really show what a real relationship and marriage are like. I love watching movies that have very happy endings, and I would love to have an ending like that, but I know that that is not what things are like. I wish you luck in your marriage and hope you have your version of a happy ending! 🙂

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    1. Thank you so much! You can share it no problem 🙂 I am glad to hear that you are willing to put forth full effort to make your relationship last. That is so crucial. I too enjoy the happily ever after movies but i know they are not real and it is important not to let myself believe them. While marriage is a great thing, a gift filled with companionship and teamwork and true love, effort. While not easy, when you find the right one and are willing to put forth that effort, time and energy, and unconditional love, it is totally worth it.
      Skyler

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I enjoyed your post. I have never been one to actually buy into happily ever after. My mother has always told me “Ashley, it’s all in what you can put up with” and I took her advice to heart, when I looked for a husband I looked at who he was at his core, what puts him into a bad mood, how well does he handle anger, how does he treat me when he is unhappy, and much more. You have to really get to know someone before you can decide if you can live with them forever, because usually it only gets worse, not better. Marriage is said to be 50/50 but actually it should be 100/100 you both have to want to try to stick it out through thick and thin. It is nowhere near a bed of roses, but I wouldn’t trade my life my family my kids my husband for anything in the world, I love every aspect of my life the ups the downs and the inbetweens and honestly I think that is what is boils down to being grateful for what you have.

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    1. You said it. I like the 100/100 thought instead of the 50/50. That really says it because like you said, it takes both the husband and the wife to make it work. There will be days when we are both tired or frustrated or annoyed about something, it’s how we handle those moments that define us and how we treat each other during those times. I totally agree that it is super important to get to know someone before marrying them.
      Skyler

      Liked by 1 person

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